Author: Don

Tough Love

Yesterday’s biweekly critique group evisceration was more like a knuckle-rapping, since I was only able to bring the very next scene of my WIP, about 750 words long. So, it doesn’t make sense for this entry to be very long :).

For the Win:

  • Did a good job portraying the protagonist’s squeamishness at the DIY operation he was undergoing.
  • Did a good job portraying the sibling relationship between the protag and his sister.

StoryFail:

  • A minor plot point that demonstrated my poor understanding of chemistry 🙁
  • A couple of viewpoint errors
  • Still not enough information for the (group) readers’ tastes about what the protag is after. (It was 95% clear to the “tech guy” in our group, but after all, he’s a “tech guy.”)

I should continue with this piece but for today, I’ve got a contest entry to prep :).

Torchwood: Children of Earth

There will be some vague spoilers. Read at your own risk!

io9 asked Is Torchwood Finally Becoming Better Than Doctor Who? I say yes, absolutely.

The writing on this five-part story arc is as tight as anything–anything–I’ve ever seen on TV. I know John Barrowman felt like Torchwood was being “punished” when the number of episodes for Series 3 was slashed from thirteen, but if it resulted in writing like this, then I’m all for it!

I’m still speechless from the whole thing. Yes, I did see some minor, minor plot problems but they were so easy to miss. I had to rewatch and rethink to find them because as a writer, you don’t want to believe something could be so utterly perfect. I never thought I’d hear myself utter these words: The inconsistencies really don’t matter.

And I’m not turned off by the darkness, either. This isn’t Doctor Who after all. The nature of this alien threat is one order of magnitude more disturbing than Daleks wanting to exterminate the human race again. And this isn’t Independence Day or Star Trek where the best parts of humanity shine in an extraterrestrial crisis. This is a story about the darker sides of “civilized” people. About the zone between hypocrisy and pragmatism, and the horror that often dwells there. And the terrible price of trying to take the moral high ground and failing.

This story was as apocalyptic as it could get without nuclear annihilation or zombies. Because it was about the death of souls.

You were warned about spoilers! So, I don’t want to hear it.

I know a lot of fans are upset about Captain Jack’s actions. I’m not big on Christ figures, but I’ve never seen it pulled off this brilliantly (not even Russell T. Davies’s earlier attempt). Jack literally took the sins of the world (well, that of world governments) on himself, paying the price that they would have to pay otherwise.

You know, I’m going to stop for now, because I’m still struck dumb…

Chapter XXXVI

Kinda like last year, I got some of the best presents a writer can get.

My favorite, I have to say, was the one I got for myself–the newest productivity tool. It’s not tech. I finally got the Moleskine Planner cover I wanted from Renaissance Art, which is the most stylish hPDA case you could ever ask for!

Other presents included…

1
Two vintage Doctor Who novelisations: Earthshock by Ian Marter, published by Target and Doctor Who and the Day of the Daleks by Terrance Dicks, published by Pinnacle. The Pinnacle books were the ones with the cool introduction by Harlan Ellison.

2
Birthday love from family and friends via phone, email, snail-mail, messages in bottles, etc.

3
And as another present to myself, the opportunity to help the cause of highlighting the work of writers of color. Like me 🙂

Not a bad start, I daresay.

Kickin’ It Old School

We’ve all been so proud of our blindness
No kindness to share
I used to cry for the lost
Until I had to turn away
Then I looked inside
Past the fool
And found some deeper words to say

-Chicago, “Cry for the Lost”

Since LoudTwitter is dead, I’ve shunted my Twitter feed over to a widget on the sidebar. Just as well, really. I’ve been feeling the itch to bust out of the 140-character mode and stretch a little.

We’ll see how long it lasts.

“All Afternoon Those Birds Twitter Twit”

  • 03:54 "Four in the morning came without a warning…" #lyrics #insomnia ♫ blip.fm/~92i50 #
  • 04:01 On page 36 of 256 of We Never Talk About My Brother by Peter S. Beagle. 5* for "Uncle Chaim and Aunt Rifke and the Angel." Slow pace paid… #
  • 07:26 3 hours of sleep. God, why?? Oh yeah, the coffee I drank while cleaning out the closet 🙁 #
  • 07:52 Damn you, red-eye. You are a cruel mistress. Yet, I always come back… 🙁 #
  • 07:56 twitpic.com/8r0hw – Sure it doesn’t look like much now. It took culling of 4 yrs worth of BS to get here. #
  • 09:20 FTW: Thursday off for a 3 day work week! Thinking I should’ve taken today off and gone back to bed, but this works, too. 🙂 #
  • 09:53 My birthday gift to myself! It’ll be a literal Xmas in July! bit.ly/6EzH4 #
  • 11:47 Yesterday’s crit group evisceration posted, incl. the best advice I’ve gotten in awhile. bit.ly/Od21C #
  • 13:13 Cafe where I’m eating lunch isn’t helping my sleep deprivation playing the slow version of "Valerie." Hence… ♫ blip.fm/~935hw #
  • 13:43 Got caught in the rain sans umbrella twice in as many days. Am soaked and unhappy! OTOH I am more awake. #
  • 16:59 Got to leave work early. Bypassed PM writing spot. Need bed….zzzz. #
  • 17:11 Letting playlist of missed podcasts lull me to naptime. #
  • 19:12 Had a nap & dinner. Almost feel like a real human being again :). #
  • 19:19 Lots of good stuff in this Odyssey podcast: Bruce Holland Rogers on Flash Fic Structures, Pt. 2 bit.ly/WoQPm #mp3 #

Via LoudTwitter

Tough Love

The Critique

Yesterday’s crit group crucixion–painful as ever, but it was one of those sessions where a lightbulb went off in my head that will affect my writing positively from here on out.

I attempted two things with this story: (a) to finally break down whatever wall that’s prevented me from writing something connected to my Asian-American experience ( as well as develop another niche to pimp out my stories) and (b) to write about a fascinating sub-culture that I’ve only a passing familiarity with.

How did I do, according to my critique group?

FTW

  • Set-up was “intriguing”
  • Usual compliment re: my “hip rhythm,” esp. w/dialogue
  • A sci-fi story w/a lot of tech stuff, but still about people/characters having to make particular choices.
  • One reader got “everything I need to know about the [protagonist’s] family [of origin] dynamic.”

Fail!

  • (From the tech guy in the group, keeping me honest) Nix the term “RFID,” which is already dated (my story takes place, oh, about 15 minutes in the future).
  • Need to be clearer what I’m talking about when I make other references (e.g. to cochlear implants, etc.)
  • Not really clear how pervasive and powerful the tech is that I’m writing about.
  • Protagonist’s motivations unclear–is what the protagonist doing legal? How does he feel about the world he’s about to step into? Why’s he stepping into it? (Grrr!)
  • Short debate about expanding/expounding on technical descriptions but being careful not to do that at the expense of character.
  • The most helpful comment and the one I’ll take to heart for the rest of forever: To make the world of my story as clear as I made the protagonist’s family-of-origin dynamic!

Duh! Not that I didn’t know I should do that, but it helps to have an example to point to in my head.

“All Afternoon Those Birds Twitter Twit”

  • 09:01 Looking at yesterday’s 1.1k words. Need at least one scene more for crit group today. #wip #
  • 09:27 Last min crit-group writing playlist: my British Blue-Eyed Soul station on Pandora. #
  • 09:50 Vid of last nite’s @sufferjets bout. Man, that was fun! www.vimeo.com/5359976 #
  • 16:34 Back from biweekly crit group evisceration. Painful but badly-needed feedback, as usual. Blow-by-blow to come…. #
  • 16:42 W00t!! Since everything’s signed and official, I can announce this: bit.ly/f5peK #blog #
  • 19:18 Leave my Google Reader alone for 2 days and I’ve got 350+ unread items?? Oh, hell no. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut…. #
  • 19:19 Time to finish cleaning out office closet. The one I made the mistake of telling gay coworkers about. /Still/ haven’t heard the end of it. #
  • 19:27 Closet Cleaning/Going In/Coming Out Playlist: Cole Porter–no, I mean CHICAGO XXXII:STONE OF SISYPHUS. #
  • 21:10 Closet-cleaning experience: "Or I stumble through the doorway to space and time." #lyrics bit.ly/vv4YN #

Via LoudTwitter