Tough Love

No justifications, no explanations, no excuses, though I will offer that some of these things might have been answered if I brought in the amount of material I’d intended to bring in before Life Happened the week before.

For now–possibly from now on–I won’t be posting Il Buono, il brutto, il cattivo of what I brought. Every comment I got was either Scene!Win or Scene!Fail. And the Fail list is sooo much longer…


  • Scene I brought was “believeable, in a weird way.”
  • The “usual” compliments (smooth writing, believable/snappy dialogue, etc.)
  • Bits were “funny.”

(From lowest to highest degree)

  • “Soda” vs. “pop” (vs. “coke”)
  • Need to give a little better sense of exactly who the protagonist, by this point.
  • Need to be more explicit about the protagonist’s feelings toward his overall situation.
  • Need to show my protagonist’s reactions to the fantasy element (good, bad, or indifferent).
  • Confusion about how I described a facet of the fantasy element. (Totally unnecessary confusion, on my part.)
  • The fucking scene doesn’t really add anything, leaving some to still ask themselves exactly what the fucking story’s really about!!


Hindsight is 20/20, but I’m thinking the reason I forced myself to bring and read 830 words of fail was for the symbolic victory of having written despite the week’s obstacles. Obviously, it didn’t even qualify as a Pyrric victory. It might’ve been if I’d have been able to finish more of it–I actually had about 500 more words, but I just couldn’t get them polished in time.

I think it’s time to drag my Inner Drill Sergeant back out…