Tag: sam lipsyte

Weeknotes S05 E03: Proof of Life as Resistance

When I write my future memoirs, I hope never to include the line, “I was napping when World War III started.” I mean, c’mon, it sounds more like the opening line of an Etgar Keret short story. But if (when?) future generations ask me where I was when I heard we bombed Iran, the sad truth will be revealed.

With everything going on, I don’t know what the point of a weeknotes post would be right now. Like Charles Bradley sang, “This world is going up in flames”. But maybe that’s why I need to write one. Proof of life as resistance.

There are moments when my typical attitude of “The only way out is through” works against me. Moments when I only have one or two spoons left and it seems like everything on my list takes at least three. And so I look for ways to use the one or two I have left to get me forward anyway, even if 99% of the time all that generates is resentment which is a lousy feeling, but better than the alternatives (not really).

I’m not the only one to know this. I came across this reading Sam Lipsyte’s THE ASK:

I had learned long ago how to refine the raw guilt into a sweet, granulated resentment.

I had a burst of writing energy for the past couple of weeks which is on the usual trend downward and I know I’m there because while I know I need three spoons to working on my current short story, I feel like I need to be using use the one or two I’ve got to do what I “should” be doing. Like, reading all the stuff that’s won Nebula, Locus, or Stoker awards this month rather than 15-year old litfic novels. Or grousing about an article on AI boosterism I never expected to see in BREVITY, of all places.

I mean, c’mon…

And just as a hammer can build Habitat for Humanity or take a human life, the tool is dependent on the human user.

Yeah, except that hammer’s design wasn’t stolen off of the work of people’s blood, sweat & tears and mass-produced via a gross waste of natural resources. But I digress. After all, that’s not the worst thing going on in the world this week, is it?

Writer Harvey Pekar narrating a comic panel from a piece called "The Terminal Years" (c) 1999 Harvey Pekar Art by Gary Dumm
From “The Terminal Years”
(c) 1999 Harvey Pekar
Art by Gary Dumm
Maybe holding on to my remaining spoons would’ve been a better idea. On the other hand, maybe fellow Clevelander Harvey Pekar has it right.

Fuck it, here’s one skirmish. Now, what’s my next one gonna be?

Weeknotes S05 E02: Carnival Like No One’s Watching

It’ll be a short one today. I’m tired, my family’s tired, it’s been A Week. While the world is on fire, our home had a couple of plumbing-related mishaps that had to be dealt with along with everything else. Still, we found the time and a little bit of energy to enjoy a tiny little pop-up carnival held for the second year in a row in the parking lot of the local almost-dead mall.

Elevated shot of a pop-up carnival in a mall parking lot in front of an abandoned Dick's Sporting Goods

When you think about it, it really is our way of protesting. The Fam is actually a perfect intersection of about 99% of everything the current regime hates. ICE has already been through here once and they’d probably still be here if they weren’t busy handcuffing US Senators in California while “liberating” Los Angeles.

WRITING
I was only 3 days out of 7 trying to keep The Chain going. Like I said, it’s been A Week.

But I did have a couple of bright spots.

LISTENING
Last fall’s release of DANCE, NO ONE’S WATCHING by Ezra Collective got by me, but I rectified that this week!

READING

I had a chance to pick up THE ASK by Sam Lipsyte on the cheap and the discovery of this passage made it worthwhile, hitting me in a personal way that I haven’t been since Etgar Keret’s “What Do We Have In Our Pockets.”

I’d had a hard time deciding whether to carry a knapsack, a messenger bag, a canvas book bag, or a briefcase. Each seemed to embody a particular kind of confusion and loss.