#Weeknotes S02 E33

I don’t whine on Twitter about my writing life very often these days. But the teardown of even more US government institutions, Birtherism II: Is Birthright Citizenship Really a Thing, Though?, and fire tornadoes… well, I was wound up anyway.


My current relationship with my writer self really is like the one between the Eagles in 1979 recording THE LONG RUN album. So I was sort of pondering these words this weekend.

Well, we’re scared, but we ain’t shakin’
Kinda bent, but we ain’t breakin’
In the long run
–Eagles, “The Long Run”

Yes, kindness to oneself can work. At least today. And I’ll worry about tomorrow well… tomorrow.

Until then, though, Mazikeen has the right idea.

#Weeknotes S02 E32

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My cats have turned me into Scarface!

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It’s a small cut, scabbed over by the time I got out of bed (read: the theater of operations for this morning’s feline war games) after it happened and got to the bathroom to see if I needed to do anything about it. It’s certainly not the biggest or most painful scratch the smol furry children have given me. The sudden stampede across my head was more shocking. The mild anxiety after the fact that but for another inch, I’d have been the new Left Eye was more traumatic. No it’s not true trauma, and I don’t say that with some dumb-dumb dismissal of my own pain. But c’mon, I know there’s worse going on out there.

I’m taking all this in when this hits me…

Suffice it to say, I know how Asher feels…

Nothing for it though but catching my breath and hitting it again next week.

#Weeknotes S02 E31

It’s late, I’m tired, and not doing so great. And while I don’t have the urge to crawl into, say, a bottle of any kind, Mazikeen does illustrate my mood perfectly.

I’ve only got a few things on my mind this week.

1
4 out of 5 days this week, our internet was out so all of my remote work had to be crammed through the tether from my ThinkPad to my cell phone like the dad in A CHRISTMAS STORY with his screwdriver and his plumber’s helper. It was a pain in the ass and I do not recommend it. But it worked and it just brought to mind just how good I still have it in the face of [gestures wildly] all this.

2
Another year, another Worldcon, huh?


Just Google it because I, like many other BIPOC in SF/F/H just can’t even right now.

3
I have no idea how I stumbled onto this, but my ears have some new candy now…

4
Saw the first two episodes and now I’m hooked.

#Weeknotes S02 E30

There’s a theme this week, and it appears to be age.


Behold, the greatest Huey Lewis and The News video since “I Wanna New Drug,” just released the other day.

This was also the week I finally caught up on the third season of STRANGER THINGS. And the most horrifying thing about it to me had nothing to do with the plot, but with how many memories of life in 1985 that came back to me. You know, I’m the exact same age at those kids and I think I spend an inordinate amount of time imagining how much more f’ed up they’d be in 2020. It’s morbid, really and not very helpful. I mean, you’d at least think I’d try to write a story about it. Okay, there may be an outline somewhere.

Between the phage in the air and the brownshirts in the streets, it’s been another week of trying to get by, paying the bills the best one can, and hunkering down with loved ones and weapons. Asher here has the right idea, don’t you buddy?

We’ll take a nap in the afternoon
That’s just part of the fun
So much of youth is wasted on the young
Watch your tongue
–Huey Lewis and The News, “While We’re Young”

#Weeknotes S02 E29


You can do just about anything remotely in the time of coronavirus, even screaming about the horrors of the world into the Icelandic wilderness. And they don’t stop, do they? This week, it was moms getting gassed on the streets of Portland by secret police. Well I’ve said before, if this Gestapo shit really has come back, then I hope that a Nuremberg comes back with it.

It does feel a little like being a cat in a laundry basket, though.


That just about sums up my week, really. Aside from sneaking a peek at the new incarnation of CHARMED. I’m probably not going to do a review on it, but I can pretty much say on the pro side, it’s as good as the old show. On the con side… it’s as good as the old show.

Anyway, I’ve decided this is the mental vibe I’m reaching for this next week. I’m not optimistic, but you need to have goals.

Music, help me through this
–Benny Sings, “Music”

#Weeknotes S02 E28

In between the horror of skyrocketing COVID-19 cases, racists being racists particularly against international graduate students this week, and sketchily pardoned political operatives in my social media feeds, it’s been noted that this is the weekend Readercon would be taking place. It’s been at least 5 or 6 years since I made it out there last. Not on purpose; just the way life has worked out. I’ve either had work stuff going on, or my schedule and finances made it easier to go to 4th Street Fantasy. So, why am I so wistful? Besides being one of the first cons I ever attended regularly, choosing not to go always feels different than when you don’t have a choice, right?

Felt the same about Dragon*Con, too, but at least it’s going virtual like a lot of other cons have this year.

In the meantime though, we’re all just muddling through as best we can especially if you’re not the kind of a-hole who’ll insist on going to Disney World like it ain’t no thing. Hard to blame them if Disney’s playing along, though.

Actually I take that back. It’s very easy for me to blame people regardless of what Disney is doing.

I, on the other hand, have only left the house this week to resume the process of getting a crown for my teefs and get batteries for the CO detectors. Because, adulting.

So, what’ve I been up to besides the dayjob?
https://twitter.com/DonP/status/1282053041823326213?s=20
I actually did follow along and produce a little ‘zine, though like I said, it’ll never see the light of day. Now, I just need to figure out how I’m going to put this knowledge to use. This also reminds me that I need to pull up Malaka Gharib’s I WAS THEIR AMERICAN DREAM from the depths of my TBR queue.

I’ve read and binge-watched some things; even wrote about it a bit. I really have to do more reviews. I still have the last two episodes of the first season of Jordan Peele’s TWILIGHT ZONE to do. It’s been a slog, trying to rebuild a sense of… well… life and art and the appreciation thereof during this time of coronvavirus. Like an apartment complex rebuilding after a fire.

Anyway, stay safe, wear masks, don’t go out there unless you have to. And if you’re going to ignore all that, at least don’t get filmed coughing on people and acting a fool, and then complain about the social consequences. Just don’t forget, I love you, wall!

#Weeknotes S02 E27

Halfway through 2020 and all I have to show for it is having gotten one year older. Which is better than the alternative. I have to admit though, turning 47 feels a little weirder than I expected it to be, even with all the stuff going on in the world.

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BIRTHDAY PREZZIES!!!

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A geek might have to grow up, but there’s no reason one can’t stay geeky.

Self-care has been the theme of the week. I’ve ventured out into the plaguelands (masked and following all precautions of course) and had various people reset my back. I coincidentally rescheduled a therapy appointment right on my birthday which was, let’s just say, an experience.

As usual, I showed up late to the party on GENTEFIED. Probably the best of all the great shows I’ve seen recently.

That about wraps it up I think. Maybe some more after I clean out my head a little more.

IN THE WILD
I guess I’m not the only one cleaning things out…

#Weeknotes S02 E26

Huh, and there it is, my wit’s end
They brought me out my mind
You know I’m caught beside myself
Pissed off and shit outta luck
–Anderson .Paak, “Yada Yada”

On one hand I should be celebrating. I don’t think I’ve ever posted 26 weeks in a row on any blog I’ve ever maintained. It’s a personal milestone, really — not necessarily about the blogging, but rather proof to myself that I can maintain a weekly discipline of something not dayjob-related, and stick with it while accepting inevitably varying levels of quality.

On the other hand, what a fucking week it’s been in the SFF world…


It looks like a lot of folks — me included — got snagged, like it or not, somewhere in this event horizon of…

  1. Believing all victims enough to take their claims seriously and not dismissing them out of hand, taking a position, and using their platform to support it.
  2. Acknowledging power differentials and that sometimes people in power claim victimization as a reversal tactic.
  3. And yet — see point #1
  4. And for good measure, throwing in a dash of knowing got’damned well that this sort of event horizon looks a fucking hell of a lot different when POC are involved.
  5. To say nothing if you’re one of the “lucky” ones who have literally been at in the same room/same con/same table/same workshop as some of these folks…

I’m only today back in a mental space where I can discuss other equally important stuff (pandemic and the accompanying fascist neo-reactionary wave, anyone?) and some random stuff on the social medias, but this latest round still burns a hole in my mind, leaving me caught beside myself, pissed off, and shit outta luck.

So I think this is all I’ve got this week, aside from a pic of my smol furry daughter Mazikeen looking exactly how I feel.

#Weeknotes S02 E25

Not a particularly cheery one this week, folks.

This is the weekend I would’ve spent at 4th Street Fantasy had it not been rightly cancelled. I took the time off work like I always do, and thought about giving it back, but decided fuck it..

It’s four days later and I don’t feel all that better than I did on Thursday.

Maybe it’s because the world’s gone to pieces and maybe it’s because more rot has been exposed in two industries I love. Maybe my meds are off, or maybe I just spent too much time doomscrolling on social media. Certainly, it can’t be because I’m “working too hard” at dayjob stuff; or, maybe it is, who can say?

Either way, I do feel this is one of those days when I’m just going to feel how I’m going to feel, even though I can objectively point to positives. The world might be on fire, but at least the Supreme Court made a couple of good decisions. It’s better I know whose art I should not spend any more time and money on because they had to go around serially abusing people and giving out bullshit apologies.

My meds are fine, at least by every indicator discussed at my annual physical a couple of weeks ago. No, I’m not working too hard, but I am working hard and have been.

I’ve been reading, too. A ton of micro-memoir and microfiction pieces. I continue to be amazed by Osama Alomar’s work. I swear, some of the pieces I read this week are positively prophetic.

Two pieces in particular stunned me: A story called “Whoever Is Happy” which I felt called me out in a big way, which was immediately followed by “Wolves and Sheep,” in which I think of Alomar doesn’t sympathize with what I felt called out over, he at least understands. You’ll just have to read them, if you can get your hands on THE TEETH OF THE COMB & OTHER STORIES.

We have TikTokers and K-Pop stans doing the Lord’s work while I watch the painfully slow but sure change of things going in the right direction — I guess I wouldn’t know about most of it if I hadn’t been doomscrolling. So no, it’s not all bad. Mostly bad yes, but not all bad. I’ve got my people, I’ve got my cats, I’m in okay shape. And while my favorite Tuesday night pseudo-scientific/pseudo-historical reality TV shows are on hiatus, I guess I’ll have more time to whittle at my TBR list and maybe give some more thought as to why I don’t feel as focused as I should be.

Like Asher and my Filson, I guess I’ll chew on it for awhile longer.

#Weeknotes S02 E24

Back on my bullshit. At least, a little bit. This past week, I just refused to let the details of my life slip by. But I did it the only way I can manage right now: Twitter. Maybe it’s cheating; I don’t much care.

1
Luckily I managed a bit of writing and quite a bit of reading this week. I’ll talk about that in a bit. Otherwise, this might’ve gotten to me even more than it did.
https://twitter.com/DonP/status/1271529518814113797?s=20

2
Granted, I am starting to make trips out for routine medical issues now that places have opened up. Still though, the pictures of crowds at bars and restaurants don’t freak me out nearly as much as the blissful ignorance on people’s faces. Which made me ask myself…

3
The scope creep continues!

The mixer just wasn’t enough for me, so I ordered a ring light which I know is the right thing to do if I want the quality of my dayjob video calls to improve. But why? Why do I want to improve when so many other people — and this is NOT a criticism — seem happy with what they have? When it ultimately doesn’t affect the quality of my work, just the quality of my presentation? Eh, why not?

4
It’s been a binging week…

  • Binge Watching: #BLACKAF — fuck this is a good show!
  • Binge Reading Beth Ann Fennelly’s micro memoir collection HEATING & COOLING
  • Also, David Lehman’s ONE HUNDRED AUTOBIOGRAPHIES
  • Also, Osama Alomar’s THE TEETH OF THE COMB & OTHER STORIES

I’ve decided microfiction/micrononfiction is all my brain can make literary space for right now. And it’s where my writing’s been for the past couple of weeks.

5

+++

That’s about it for this week. That actually felt like a lot of work given my quarantine/world-on-fire fugue I’m in (that most people I know are in). I might fall off the wagon for next week but you know what — fuck it. Props to my therapist for that one! So until next time, kids…

  • Black Lives Matter.
  • Stay home, or at least wear a fucking mask.