Category: Impostor Syndrome

Back in the High Life Again

Close up of an orange tabby cat chewing at the foam cover on a microphone hanging off a boom.

I’ll be back in the high life again
All the doors I closed one time will open up again

–Steve Winwood, “Back in the High Life Again”

In the past couple of months, I took my first intentional post-pandemic steps back into the spec-fic writing world. I’ve dipped my toe in the waters for a couple of years now, what with the occasional local event or online con like Flights of Foundry and a bit of Wiscon online.

Last month, I was graciously invited to take part in a local reading series, and managed to find things that I was actually not embarrassed to read out loud. Hell, at the beginning of the month, I even submitted a short story for the first time in god-knows-how-long. (I don’t know because I’ve purposely avoided that particular page of my Submission Grinder account.)

Yes, I’m officially back on my bullshit! Now, I just need to find a way to make it sustainable.

Post-Con Blues, Impostor Syndrome Self-Assessment, Reader’s Block

Here’s what’s on my mind lately…

POST-CON BLUES. I love going to cons, but they often put me off of my normal writing routines. And when I come back, they tend to keep me off my writing routines because of follow-up, exhaustion due to people overload, and obsessive but fruitless worrying about how to leverage my last appearance while trying to force my way BACK into a writing routine–which is arguably the best way to leverage my last appearance, at this stage of my career.  Well, one step at a time…

IMPOSTOR SYNDROME SELF-ASSESSMENT. From 0 (“I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?”) to 5 (“I’m like Aquaman and Brown Hornet / I’m like Imhotep but don’t flaunt it.”), I feel about a 3, post-con.  I’ve had stuff out last year even though it was few and far between. I had some con panelist experience before Snokone Boskone (2 WFC panels, that’s not nothing), and now moderator experience. Next Boskone I get to participate in, I’ll probably feel right at home.

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READER’S BLOCK. Because OMG is my backlog out of control. I just cannot make up my mind, strategically, about what to read next. And no, “Read what you’re in the mood to read” is of no help, because strategery!